Ian and I have been enjoying a wonderful off season of no weddings, locked in our edit cave editing feature films, and spending time with family and our pups. But there’s one thing about the off season that we don’t enjoy and that’s the absence of blogging and putting our couple’s films up on the blog. Ian and I were trying to figure out how we could continue posting in the off season that would offer something to our brides and grooms, future engaged couples, and really anyone who likes to read about wedding related topics. We talked about how much we loved our (now married) couples and wish we could involve them in more beyond their wedding day. That’s when thought we’d love to create a community where our previous couples could offer advice to future brides. So many brides (myself included) have things we learned after the wedding. Things we loved about our wedding day, things we would change, things we didn’t even think of. And we want to pass along that wisdom to others. That’s when we thought, “Why not have our past brides share this advice online on our blog?” And that’s how our “Reflections” post came to be.
Our first guest blogger is Meagan Holder Craggs, whom I lovingly refer to as Holder. Holder and I go waaaaay back. We have known each other since our freshman year in college and grew closer over the years as we pursued our degrees in Theatre at Cal State Fullerton. Since graduating college Holder has had an awesome career in television and film and I’m constantly impressed by her. Since graduating we often get together over wine and cheese (or any other delicious food) and connect on all facets of life, including our weddings. Holder got married back in 2011. I was beyond grateful that Holder said yes when I asked her to be our first Bride Blogger. Thank you so much Holder for offering your wisdom to couples who have yet to take that walk down the aisle.
As a former bride planning her wedding filled with checklists, to-do lists, guest lists and registry lists, I can honestly say that in spite of all the planning, anticipation, occasional meltdown and “lists”, my wedding was the best day of my life to date. I asked myself after the wedding was all said and done…”Why?” Why had the day I planned meticulously for 2 years (yea…2 years…) NOT flown by the way I had heard or why in our amazing wedding video were they able to capture so many unexpected moments that I could only have dreamed up? Answer: I let go. The day of, I made an internal pact to myself not to let anything bother me that especially took focus off of why I was able to experience this day in the first place: my groom. Our story. Our families that allowed us to build the story. Our friends who witnessed us live out our story that ultimately led us to this big day. Let it be known, I am not a particularly “go with the flow” person. I love lists; I really love color coordinated lists. I love inspiration books with tabs and corresponding photos behind the subject of those tabs. I love schedules and love printing out said schedules even more. You get the point. “Letting go” isn’t exactly a simple thing for someone like me. But on my wedding day and especially in hindsight, the pay-off of letting go was huge. My biggest advice to brides, whether an especially enthusiastic planner like myself, or someone who flies by the seat of their pants, is to trust whomever you’ve hired for the day (I’m not a fan of the term “vendor”) to carry out any plans, big or small, you’ve made in preparation. What that allows for is a completely enjoyable experience as a guest of a party you happen to be guest of honor at, rather than as the host. How much fun is it to attend a dinner party (or any party) where you don’t have to cook or clean up and simply get to say thank you and goodbye when the party is over? Think of your wedding in the same way. This means, and I strongly encourage, that you set aside some amount of money in your budget to hire a friend or professional to allow you to relax and enjoy the day of. If you’re like me, you had a budget and from that budget you did your best to hire the people you felt would make your day everything you imagined. Trust that. Things will go wrong. For example, my hairstyle was definitely not what I had planned, the table numbers were accidently misprinted by my wonderful husband to be (ha) and the large shuttle bus we hired to transport the wedding party broke down…while we were in it. But, in keeping with my pact of “let go”, none, and I honestly mean none, of these events affected how happy I was to get married to and celebrate with my best friend. The proof will be in the memories both recorded (thank you Couture Motion Pictures!) and in the inner peace you have knowing you fully enjoyed your “big day”. Also, keep in mind that while our wedding day should be the “best day of our lives”, we all have many, many more “best days” to look forward to.
I wish you happy planning and an even happier, peaceful wedding day!